The Coolers Are Back and Better Than Ever

Mid-March, mundane routines, overbearing workloads. Countless students are looking for a way to turn monotony into a jiff time, but coming up empty. Surely, after hearing the latest update of the water cooler situation, those big H20 jugs must be adding insult to injury, right?

Wrong! Against all odds, the water coolers are back and better than ever! How could it be that a rejuvenation of this scale hits the school in a time of dreary schedules and half-hearted grinding?

Here’s how: The best water cooler logistics this school has experienced yet.

Perhaps the good man above is watching over us. Perhaps the big dogs on Charles Street listened to what was said in the last water cooler check in. Perhaps the students have had a revelation, and in doing so, learned valuable water cooler respect and etiquette.

Whatever happened, one thing is certain: Glorious outcomes times are here. Coolers grouped together neatly by the half-dozen, ample cone cups always at the ready, floors completely freed of sloppy spills, and close proximity to outlets providing crisp, cool refreshing water via cooler technology.

The Towson students, while generally down on their luck, recognize the bright spot in the school, as Junior James Thorne states, “Whenever I take a drink from the water coolers, I remind myself that spring is coming and the warm weather is drawing near. It kind of gives me a sense of hope in a way.”

Sophomore Anthony Marcinello thinks like-mindedly, saying, “I was getting real thirsty for a while because I couldn’t get water and I didn’t want to drink from the fountains because they’re yucky and I feel sick after drinking from them. I’m glad that the coolers are back so I can actually focus in class.”

What’s next for the coolers? The answer will come with time. For now, if you’re a Towson Student or faculty member you can rest assured that things are looking better and better as the days get brighter. Even the nights are getting warmer; it won't be long until summer comes now that the coolers are here again.