Disappointment: Allied Soccer Drops Yet Another Game

7:00 AM Thursday: I wake up, get out of bed, brush my teeth, drag a comb across my head. Today isn’t just any day though, its game day. I grab my maroon body paint and mark my chest with a radiant capital T. These are the type of days I live for.

But then I look in the mirror. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I consistently set myself up for inevitable disappointment? I’ll tell you, being the #1 fan for allied soccer sure isn’t easy. In fact it’s downright demoralizing. It’s like the team doesn’t even want to win! There’s a fine line between having fun in competition and giving away games, and the Allied Soccer team knows damn well that they’ve stepped over it. I mean in the Perry Hall game, Jimmy Saunders kicked the ball into the wrong goal! We were relying on a big year from him, and here he is not knowing left from right! And how about Patty Thomas getting distracted by a squirrel while the opposing team just waltzed right by her for yet another easy goal? When is enough, enough? When have the fans reached the end of their wire? When will we call for Coach Krazinski’s head?

Coach Krazinski has a deplorable coaching style in my opinion. He will NEVER lead us to a Binky Bowl victory with the soft, respectful demeanor he treats the players with. A great coach has a perfect balance of discipline and encouragement. But Coach Krazinski has no such balance to speak of. When freshman Tommy Cilernio missed the ball completely during a penalty kick, Coach Krazinski said “good try buddy, you’ll get it next time.” But I can assure you, it was NOT a good try and with that attitude of ambivalence, Tommy will never get it. We need a real a Vince Lombardi type, a hard ass who isn’t afraid to tear the kids down and build them back up again.

But let me tell you, even with a proper coach, rebuilding will be a 2-3 year process. We are talking a total overhaul in scouting and recruitment. We need to start at the goal. Greg Forlini is a disaster! He’s consistently trips over his own feet, doesn’t have the proper jump height and possesses none of the leadership qualities necessary in a goalie. Next comes the defensive backs, to be honest having conjoined twins on defense was a fun novelty at first, but the Kin-Ji twins count as two players when they only have the physical abilities of one! It would be much better to have two defensive backs with separate torsos. And then there’s perhaps the most vital part of the team, Bobby “Hat Trick” Hudson. Frankly I don’t know how he got that nickname, as he has never scored a goal in his life. In fact, whenever he receives the ball, he picks up and holds it like it’s one of his kin, all the while drooling all over it.

Is this team terrible? Yes. But at the end of the day I love the little guys to death. I’m a fan, and a fan sticks by his team through thick and thin. They may be losers, but they’re my losers. Did Orioles fans give up during the 2000's when their team were cellar dwellers? No. Did Patriots fans give up when their team couldn’t make the playoffs in the early 70's? No. Did Clippers fans give up when their team had only one winning season in 18 years? No.

I’m not giving up on this team just yet. The Towson Pimby Generals will rise again!