A Public Note of Apology for Dumping Hot Soup on Soup Kitchen Patrons and yelling “NO SOUP FOR YOU!”
Believe me when I say, everyone makes mistakes. But mine were the gravest and what happened this past March taught me a lesson I will not...
Chris J and Chris P Have the Same First Name
A picture of Chris J and Chris P together, which is weird because I didn’t even think they were friends Chris J and Chris P have the same...
Nuclear Plant Reported on the Grounds of Towson High School
Pictured: Ms. Domino posing in front of school, thinking she can slyly ignore the nuclear power generators within the background. Guess...
Sophomore "Really Getting Into" Mac Demarco, Cigarette Addiction
Towson High's own Braiden Thompson ('18) is proud to announce that as of this past weekend, he totally fucks with Canadian...
Juniors Celebrate 50th Anniversary of Pet Sounds with 24 Hour Geeb Session
A posse of classic rock obsessed Towson High pupils led by Tommy McEmbree and Ethan Fry ('17) will commemorate the 50th birthday of The...
Shia the Frickin' Beef Does it Again!
Welp. He did it. AGAIN. That’s right. Shia the frickin’ beef did it again! You chodes thought he wouldn’t do it again? Well he DID. And...
Opinion: Although I find Donald Trump’s presidency appalling, I wouldn’t hesitate to smooch him on t
I, like so many Americans, am appalled by the support Donald Trump has received in his presidential bid. The fact that Trump can build...
What Does Your Blood Type Say About You?
With the blood drive fast approaching, we decided to take a look at the different blood types and what they say about personality. Have a...
Freshman Consumes First Dragon fruit, Let Down by Underwhelming taste
Lucas Hutson (’19) grabbed the sharpest kitchen knife he could find in anxious excitement. Ample thoughts ran abruptly through his head,...
Cheez Stocks Going Waaayyyy Up There!
BUY BUY BUY! Sell everything else! The cheez parade has reached its peak. We are talking major cheddar cheez baebiiiii! Get on that ooey...
